Happy New Year! What a Year It's Been!

I've been meaning to update this blog for so long, now!!! But as the sun's setting on 2016, I thought that now would be a good time to FINALLY do so! (I also spilled ginger beer on my laptop a while ago, which made it difficult to type! But Robert got me a shiny new laptop for Christmas (one of the new MacBook Pros with the touch bar thingy!), so things are much easier!)

In the time that I haven't posted here, we've had our first Halloween, our first Thanksgiving, the election happened and Christmas has come and gone! What a year it's been. I said on Facebook earlier today that all in all, it's been a good year for our little family. Our move here has been a mostly positive experience. I start my graphic design studies in a few weeks, and the toddler is officially enrolled into pre-school that starts in August! Life just seems to be racing by!

My family was here for a week over Christmas. It certainly didn't last long; felt like I blinked and they were gone. :-( But it was so awesome having them here, and it was SO nice to have a WINTER Christmas! The only downside to that being that it didn't really feel like Christmas in the weeks leading up to it. Despite the Christmas trees, the carols playing in all the stores and the huge amount of decorations around the city, ironically for me, the Summer heat is what makes the Christmas season feel like Christmas. Despite that, both my Thanksgiving and Christmas turkeys were pretty good successes!

Looking back, the year really has gone in a flash, but I don't think we really have any regrets. Missing my family is really the only thing that has made things difficult.

The best things have been (in no particular order):

~BALLET is still the no.1 for me. Aside from injuring my foot a couple of times, it's just been a dream come true. I've been doing pointe for almost six months, now (I think?), and I just feel so grateful for the whole opportunity every time I go to a class! I've also become Kathy's graphic designer. LOL. I make online flyers for her, which in turn, is giving me some great design practise (you know what they say: 10000+ hours of something makes you a master in it!).
~The 2 year old boss and I have also made some really lovely friends, which I'm just so happy for. We don't know whether we'll have anymore children, so it's really important to me for the little guy to have friends early on. I'm also incredibly anti-social and was always a really awkward, shy kid, so I just do what I can to encourage the little dude to not be like me! So far, he's much more easygoing than I was as a child, and I'm very glad for that! Haha! Having good friends that we see regularly has also taught him so much! His language skills have improved so much, and he's learned to share!
~AMAZON. LOL!!! Amazon makes life even more convenient. I'm mentioning Amazon here because as of yesterday, I'm so thankful for it! The toddler and I bought Robert a pair of Coach gloves for Christmas (toddler even picked them, himself). But they were the wrong size. We went back to the store yesterday, only to be told that not only did they have none left in stock, but they weren't able to order more as they've stopped making them! We wandered around the city in the hopes of finding another pair from a different store, but I didn't like our chances as they'd gone on sale, so they'd pretty much sold out everywhere! I was so gutted (probably even moreso than Robert!). But we had a chance look on Amazon and found they had ONE pair left! So I was very happy and am now more appreciative than ever of Amazon. LOL!!!
~All the kids' facilities and activities available here. The Bay Area has (so far) been an awesome place in which to raise a family!
~The adventure of it all. From just being in a brand new place to learning to drive on the opposite side of the road to exploring, it's really been a fantastic experience for someone as unadventurous as I am!
~People are generally quite friendly. Unless you're on the road in which people simply become impatient douchebags.
~The appreciation for the arts. Enough said.
~The opportunities available to Robert and his career. Also enough said.
~The city's multiculturalism. Also something that's very important to me.
~The convenience of everything. Whether you're wanting ice cream delivered in the next couple of hours or you're looking to study, it seems that everything's available here. Of course, the flipside of that being that it really makes you feel spoilt. I feel like a spoilt brat of the world, especially compared to what so many others are going through these days. I'm not an overly religious person, but I find myself saying little prayers to myself (or God or whoever's up there) everyday for the fortunate life we lead. It's scary to see how easily it can all be taken away, so I'm grateful everyday for the blessings I've got.
~Living in a country where everything seems relevant. Whether it's a TV show you're watching or politics, I feel like we live in a place where I'm immersed in what we see on TV, online, or wherever else. Maybe that's thanks to the media, but it's sort of exciting to see things and think 'yeah, I get that now', or even 'crap, how's that going to affect us now?' (in RE: to the recent election). I've found myself caring a lot more about world happenings since I feel like they're a little more relevant to our lives now.
~Feeling like an anonymous nobody. This sounds a bit strange, but I like cities. And I like feeling like I don't know anyone or that there's a big chance of me running into people I know. I like anonymity, and that was something I looked forward to in having a new start. For some reason, anxiety really kicks in living in a small town or the country, especially if it means I constantly have to see people that I need to make small talk with. Yes, I'm anti-social, yes, socialising makes me incredibly anxious if it's random, but hey, that's just the way I am. Sigh...

And I'm sure there's more. However, I've had my annual new year's drink and I'm already feeling the effects. I have no idea how I've managed to type this much!

So in saying that, I wish anyone reading this a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! I really hope that 2017 is fantastic for you. Thank you so much for reading/following this blog. Hopefully I'll make more regular posts in the new year!

xoxo

Making Friends...

This post may get deleted soon after its publishing, but I'll see where it ends up...

The weather here has cleared up this week which has been a great relief as it means that the toddler and I have managed to get out. In doing so, we've managed to meet a few people, which is unusual for me. I know I'm not the world's most approachable person, but apparently having a child makes that less so. And socialising has never been a strength of mine; I've always struggled to befriend people, and I've always felt like I've had to make twice the effort at something that seems to just come so naturally to others. (Bit of background: I suffered from a semi-serious period of social anxiety some years ago. It got so bad that some days I couldn't get out of the house, let alone come face to face with another person. I'm OK now, however this anxiety is something I've always had and will always have, I have just had to find strategies to deal with it in order to lead something that resembles a normal life. I don't mind talking about this as I feel like mental health is something that should be talked about more; it's horrible that so many people suffer mental illnesses, yet they go unseen and often ignored because we're too afraid to talk about it or we don't think it should be talked of.) 

Having said all this, though, I am trying to be as approachable and as friendly as I can be, as we didn't know anyone when we moved here and I felt like it would be unfair to our toddler if he wasn't able to be around other kids and make his own friends as soon as he could. He doesn't go to daycare, so I feel like it's important for him to be around other kids and toddlers.

But on the other side, this is very difficult for me.

I've become worried and fretful of late that my child is exhibiting personality traits similar to my own. Which is the last thing I wanted for him. I was a very shy, insecure child who would prefer to sit on her mother's lap than get up and join in with other children. (My husband on the other hand was the complete opposite (according to his mother), and would play with other kids perfectly fine. Still, he is the last person to ever be perturbed by others.) Although he's not as bad, the little man is growing into a gentle soul, which may sound lovely, but he gets shoved around quite a bit. 

I'm not really sure what this has to do with our move and our life here. I'm sure this would be the case wherever we lived. 

Growing up, befriending people was hard. I either fell into the "wrong" group/s of people, or I just had a hard time and became depressed. I didn't get bullied in the sense that I was pushed around and called names. It was more that I was just ignored. I often wouldn't get invited to things, or I was the person who would be asked to take photos of friendship groups; the person not in the photos. As I got older, I felt like I had to yell twice as hard just to befriend people and even be noticed. I still feel that way. I'm not sure what it is about me that makes me - apparently - easy to ignore or easy to forget, but nevertheless, that seems to be the case. But whatever. I'm 32. I just deal with it now. But when you see your child getting treated in a similar manner, it makes your blood boil. 

Children can be mean. I had an urge to get angry at a group of girls who were about four the other day as they clearly didn't want my 18 month old to be playing around them. And in typical him style, he let them push him around a bit before I got up and walked away, knowing he'd follow. 

I know these treatments of kids by kids isn't isolated to the US. Heck, I've only been here a few weeks; I didn't grow up here! But having made a fresh start, I wanted it to be just that: a fresh start with no baggage from the past or whatever. But unfortunately, it seems like some of my less desirable traits may have followed us here, and I'm feeling somewhat angry about that.

I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this. Like I said, this may get deleted once I get a bit of sense back, but for the moment, it kind of feels a bit therapeutic to write about it and just get it off my chest. Perhaps I'm just a bit angry and need a bit of a vent. Either way, it's here for now, but may be deleted when I wake up in the morning. Whatever I write next should be much happier.